How do you show up in relationships?
Ten questions about how you behave with the people closest to you — friends, partners, family. At the end you get a position on five separate things: how you repair after friction, how much you need said out loud, what you do with someone else’s distress, how much notice you need, and which way you move when a week has been too much.
There is no type at the end and no score. You get five readings, all of them shown, each with what it gives you and what it costs, and one thing the other person can change rather than you.
Ten questions
Question 1 of 10
Your five readings
Before you take this too seriously
None of these five is fixed, and none of them is a description of the kind of person you are. People sit in different places on the same dimension with different people, and in different years. A reading taken during a hard month is a reading of a hard month.
Nothing here is a compatibility measure either. Two people at opposite ends of a dimension are not a bad match; they are a pair who will have to say more out loud than a pair who happen to match. The most useful evidence in this area suggests that difficulty between two people with different processing styles is a two-way mismatch rather than a shortfall in one of them (Milton, Disability & Society 27(6), 2012 — the evidence is growing but still mixed). That is the whole reason the adjustments on this page are pointed at both of you.
Nothing here is saved or sent anywhere. No result is stored about you, and closing the page ends it.
Written for Thought Club as general guidance, not medical advice. Free to read, print, and share.